Why We Limit Ourselves And How To Stop
This week was a lesson in patience.
Remember last Sunday I told you we were headed to the airport?
Well, turns out we had no power in Portland due to the snow storm so we had to change our flight.
To make a long story short, we had to change it 3 more times and when we were FINALLY on our way to the airport to leave (again), the flight we were on was canceled.
You can’t make it up.
So… we took advantage of the time in Los Angeles, enjoyed slow mornings together, deep talks in the evening over a glass of wine, and catching up on our favorite shows.
One evening as we were watching a new series, one of the characters had a new yacht.
I said to Zak, “We should get a yacht one day.”
Do you know as soon as that came out of my mouth my brain (I call her Rosemary) said, “You? Lol Be realistic.”
What in the holy brain fuck?
Where did that come from?
Do you know how much work I’ve done on rewriting my stories?!
And now this??
But here’s what I know…
Because I’ve done all that work, I know that this is just another story and that I don’t have to believe it.
I know I can give Rosemary some love and send her away and tell myself I can have 10 yachts if I want them. Because I can.
But it did get me to thinking…
Why do we tend to believe that we can’t have the things that we want?
… a life and business so good you’re only jealous of yourSELF? That’s nice but that’s not really possible for me.
… grow your business to 10k or even 100k months while working less? I mean… I couldn’t but I’m sure some people could.
… live life in the Member’s Only lounge? Me? I meannnn… that’s not really my thing.
What is happening?
I find it fascinating that we often dismiss our big dreams and possibilities before even giving them a chance.
And… it’s time to stop that shit.
In this week’s blog, we’re diving deep into the incredible world of possibility, explore why we tend to limit ourselves, and most importantly, how we can break free from those SELF imposed limitations.
How To Find The REAL Reason Why We Limit Ourselves
If you’ve ever seen others living an amazing life, or dreamed of something more, and then dismissed it as being possible, here’s what I want you to know…
You are not alone.
I just shared the story of how it still happens to me. Rarely, but it does happen.
Now, I’m not going to go on and on and on about how everything is possible for you (it’s exhausting, you already know that it is), but want I want to do instead is help you look at WHY your brain isn’t getting onboard.
So, the next time you find yourSELF dismissing something you want, thinking it’s not possible for you, I want you to simply stop and ask yourSELF…
No trauma and drama. It’s just not necessary.
Just calmly and curiously pause and ask yourself… “Why isn’t [insert dream or goal here] possible for me?”
Don’t place any pressure of yourSELF, just be open to hearing whatever comes up for you.
And once you have an answer… ask again… “Why”?
Do this 4, 5, or 6 times until you get to the REAL answer.
You’ll know it’s the REAL answer because it will hit harder. It will make you feel. It might make you cry.
Here’s an example:
You: I’d like to make a million dollars.
Your brain: YOU? Never gonna happen.
You: (calmy and curiously) Why?
Your brain: Because.
You: Because why?
Your brain: Because people like you don’t make a million dollars.
You: Why don’t people like me make a million dollars?
Your brain: Because… you know… you’re not smart enough.
You: Why are people like me “not smart enough”?
Your brain: Because you didn’t grow up with money, you don’t have the best education, and you will probably fail.
You: Why does it matter if I fail?
Your brain: Because people will laugh at you and it will be obvious to everyone that you just didn’t have what it takes. How embarrassing for you! How would you ever recover?!
And that, is the story that held me back for a very long time.
The story that I wasn’t smart enough and people would laugh at me when I failed.
So, I rewrote that story.
You can too.
If you need help on this, go to the free training I made for you here!
You’ll find a video and workbook waiting for you that will help you rewrite these stories, for good.
Here’s that link again. I think you’ll love it.
Do THIS To Stop Limiting Yourself
When it comes to caring for yourSELF while you’re rewriting your stories about what’s possible, your mental health is key!
A great tool to use is visualization of your Future Self that has accomplished the goal or has the thing that you want.
SELF Made Members: Use the SELF Made Morning Meditation for this! Or, listen to it and create your own. Do what serves you!
Spend 5 – 10 minutes every day seeing yourSELF enjoying what you wanted.
FEEL how it feels to have it.
Notice who you had to be in order to get it.
Maybe you needed to be the person who was confident you could have it. Or the person who didn’t care what others thought if you just went for it.
Then, come back to your day and BE that person.
Imagine you’re an actor who is embodying the role of someone who is confident and act how they would act.
Or the role of someone who didn’t care what others thought of them. Act like THAT!
BE the person you want to be now and before you know it, there will be no difference in present you and future you!
How To Know If You Are Limiting Yourself From Success
After working with countless clients over the years, being immersed in the world of celebrity and high-profile individuals, here’s what I know…
Success is not reserved for a select few; it’s a path open to anyone willing to embrace the power of possibility.
Now, I’ve said before… if you fight for your limitation, you get to keep them.
But if you’re WILLING to embrace the power of possibility, then you can have anything you want.
So, Ask yourSELF…. what kind of success do you want?
Then, ask yourSELF the most important question to success…
“WHO do I need to be to have what I want?”
Did that surprise you?
You see, most business owners ask, “How?”
HOW do I make more mone and more sales?
HOW do I make people excited about my offers?
But those are the wrong questions.
The secret to being SELF Made is not how you make the money. It is who you have to be to make the money. When you lock in the who, the how comes effortlessly.
So… WHO do you need to be?
What do you need to believe?
What habits do you need to embrace?
Get clear on the WHO (make a list, journal, etc.) and let the HOW follow naturally.