The 3 Rules To Having Everything You Want

It’s early as I drink my coffee and look out at the fog rolling across the mountains. 🏔️

This week the fog started to clear in my head.

I started looking at how this new development with my dad is happening FOR me.

I began to rewrite the stories I was telling mySELF to see how I could learn and grow from this difficult situation.

My life will look different on the other side of this. And I’m getting more and more clear on what that is.

Here’s what I’m clear on so far…

• Girls days with Rain are non-negotiable.
•  Date nights with Zak are non-negotiable.
• I will make more time for my creative pursuits.
• My health (healthy food, workouts, and mental health days) is my #1 priority.
• I will grow my business and my brand by working fewer hours and focusing on my unique ability.

This is just the beginning.

They say, “that which does not kill us makes us stronger” (and something tells me you know a little something about that).

But here’s the thing…

Sure, a traumatic event or a rock bottom situation can trigger your desire to change your life.

But it doesn’t have to be that dramatic.

You can just decide.

And if you need or want a little drama to get you going, you can also manufacture events in your life that force you into changing.

For example, I had a coaching client who quit her job so she had to go all in on being successful as a coach. She no longer had another option.

However you find your way to embracing a new future – one where you feel fully alive and don’t waste one second of this precious experience – I’m here to support you.

We’re in this together.

Today I’ll share some tools that will help you choose who you want to be and what you want for YOUR life.

Ready?

Let’s do this!

PS – As part of my health being non-negotiable, I picked up this eye massager this week and I’m completely obsessed! I’ve been dealing with eye strain and this baby works wonders! (Plus, it’s on sale AND there’s a $15 coupon. You’re welcome! )

 

HOW TO DISCOVER NEW POSSIBILITIES

Creating a new life, a new SELF, starts with what you believe is possible for you.

Here’s the thing… EVERYTHING is possible. Yes, everything. 🤯

When we rewrite our old stories (I’m not good enough, I can’t do that, etc.), we let go of what we thought was possible, and we start to see things we never knew existed.

You’ll go to places you’ve never been…

Talk to people you don’t know… discover things you’ve never even heard of.

You see new possibilities everywhere!

What seemed unimaginable before, now becomes possible.

And the most exciting part?

When you really understand that everything is possible, you become the architect of your destiny. YOU get to choose the life you live.

You have the freedom to imagine a future that aligns with your deepest desires and values.

So, dream fearlessly, for within the depths of your dreams lies the power to transform your reality.

 

THE 3 RULES TO HAVING EVERYTHING YOU WANT

Giving yourSELF what you want is a form of SELF care.

Now… that being said…

There are 3 rules when it comes to having everything you want…

1. No judging yourself for wanting it.
2. No apologizing for wanting it.
3. You do not have to have a reason for wanting it.

You deserve to have what you want, no reason required.

There’s no need to prove that you’re worthy first because you were born worthy of everything.

You don’t have to wait until you do something that shows you DESERVE it.

You want it because you want it.

Let me say it again for those in the back… You want it because you want it.

Say it with me…. I want it because I want it!

Louder!

There you go!

So… what do YOU want?

• More money?
• Nicer home?
• To find your soulmate?
• Deeper relationships?
• To feel more confident?
• To become a coach?
• To create your own schedule and hours in a job you love?
• To be able to eat where you want and get an iced latte every day and wear clothes that make you feel good?
• To get coaching clients with ease?
• To travel without time or money restrictions?
• To give your family a better life?

Get clear. Get specific. Choose just ONE thing you want because you want it.

Now, once you decide what you want, the old school way of coaching would be to look at your goal and start from where you are and then work toward it.

But haven’t you done that before? Me? More times than I can count.

I’ve seen this movie. I know how it ends.

Usually with frustration and stories about how I can’t just get my shit together because I’m just not good enough. Can you relate?

Now before you think, well great Cynthia. I guess this whole “everything is possible, get clear on what you want” exercise was all for nothing?

Ahhh come on. You know me better than that.

What I want you to understand is this…

There’s a new, better way to have whatever you want in your life – without struggle or willpower. 

I’ll share that coming right up. But for now, get clear on at least ONE THING that you want to create in your life.

When you know what it is, keep reading!

 

HOW WILLPOWER KEEPS YOU FROM HAVING EVERYTHING YOU WANT

Here’s what I’ve seen time and time again as a coach…

You get clear on something you want, feel all the emotions around having it, “set yourself up for success” by planning, buying the things, and telling people around you about your new goal.

That lasts about 3 days and then you start slipping.

The plan isn’t going as you thought.

You mess a few things up.

You get frustrated and think, “I knew it! This isn’t for me. I’ll never have the life I want!”

Sound familiar?

The problem is you’re relying on good old-fashioned willpower. And willpower will keep you stuck. 

Dr. Benjamin Hardy, the author of Willpower Doesn’t Work, who says, “White Knuckling your way to change doesn’t work.”

What we NOW know about change is this…

You are far more likely to be pulled toward your goals by the future than pushed toward them from your past experiences.

The recent research in positive psychology and neuroscience has now shown that It’s not the PAST that drives us, but rather, it is the FUTURE that pulls us.

Your behavior in the PRESENT is mostly shaped by your view of your future. 

So, if that’s true, there are two reasons you don’t have what you want right now.

1. Your view of your future SELF isn’t super clear.
2. You don’t believe it’s possible because of the stories you’ve told yourSELF about yourSELF.

The new school way to change your life is to focus on your FUTURE Self not your past self and let that guide you.

So… who does your future SELF need to BE to have the thing(s) you want?

Once you know that, you can show up every day as your future SELF.

Do what they would do. Say what they would say. Be how they would be.

This is the essence of being SELF Made. 🥳

When you approach your new life this way, it’s so much easier to change things. Plus, it’s so much more fun because YOU get to design your future SELF instead of letting it be created by default.

We ALL get to do that. I love that for us!

You can dive deeper into this concept of Future Self with Ben Hardy’s book, Be Your Future Self Now or Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today by Hal Hershfield.

You can also watch the TED Talk, The Psychology of Your Future Self by Dan Gilbert.

THIS is our specialty at The Modern Life Coach School and I know you’ll love it.